The responsibility of a Father is to preside:
By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. The Family Proclamation
I’ve long wondered what this meant. Earlier in my marriage I wondered: does this mean a father leads all family gatherings, has the first or last word, or delegates who says the prayer? That’s probably because the word “preside” is used synonymously with lead with respect to church callings and such:
Verily, I say unto you, saith the Lord of Hosts, there must needs be presiding elders to preside over those who are of the office of an elder; And also priests to preside over those who are of the office of a priest; 62 And also teachers to preside over those who are of the office of a teacher, in like manner, and also the deacons Doctrine and Covenants 107.60–62
I never really wondered if this was “who calls the shots”, or “who runs the show” - that never felt like a thing because my father is a gentle, servant leader. But I know some wonder what the details of this phrase mean. And what does it mean for single moms?
Well, I recently learned what I think it means. I started getting slightly more-than-average stressed with being sleep deprived after having a newborn.
I noticed, by consequence, my kids appeared more agitated. I remembered my Mood is Contagious.
Once I got more sleep, I realized the kids model my behavior as a father than follow my words. The way I talk to them is how they talk to each other - for better or worse.
Every parent knows this.
So while “preside” technically means to lead a meeting, it also means to lead a gathering. Is a family not a gathering?
…how oft have I gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and have nourished you. And again, how oft would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, 3 Nephi 10.4–5
Maybe we can preside more like Christ: with kindness, gentleness, and love unfeigned.
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Bryan lives somewhere at the intersection of faith, fatherhood, and futurism and writes about tech, books, Christianity, gratitude, and whatever’s on his mind. If you liked reading, perhaps you’ll also like subscribing: